Thursday, May 21, 2009

Rejection Fears

Rejection fears are common among human beings. Each one of us, no matter how secure we think we are, experience rejection fears some time or another in our lives. After all, everybody wants to feel loved and accepted. Our natural need to be assured of another person's love and appreciation, so that we are able to say that we are happy and content about our lives, is one reason why everyone goes through rejection fears.

Rejection fears can begin as early as childhood. Children raised by parents who are less expressive of their love and are more critical than understanding of their young ones' behavior can already plant the seed of rejection fears into the child's psyche.

I know of parents who constantly criticize their kids' grades in school even though their children are already among the top achievers in class. For these parents, their children are just never going to be good enough until they are number one. But they are not aware that the message they are sending out to their children is that they will only be loved and appreciated if they're top of the class and win the gold. Children who are in this situation constantly feel pressured to push themselves to the limit or risk the possibility of being rejected by their own parents. They eventually grow up to be adults who always have issues associated with rejection fears.

Rejection fears may also surface later in life for some people. Usually a bad break-up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend can make a person begin to question his or her own worth. They start to wonder what it is about them that is not good enough for the other person to leave them. My experience with unhealthy relationships is one of the major reasons why I had to deal with rejection fears. Being told that if I do this or do that then I will be loved in return, even if they were things I did not want to do. But I did them anyway because I was afraid to lose the other person's love; even though in truth, that was not love but manipulation.

Rejection fears can make you compromise your own principles, make you lose who you are and make you feel less about yourself if you allow it to take over your life. You must always remember that you are enough, all on your own, and you do not need another person to tell you how important you are, how beautiful you are or how much you are loved. You must already know this deep in your heart so that you are not dependent on another person's opinion to feel complete. If you love yourself and accept who you are, with all your imperfections, then you will find that you are no longer hounded by rejection fears.


  1. That's why Jesus said, love me, like you love yourself.
    But seriously, you're right and I enjoyed reading your article.

  2. And I agree with you completely on that one too: "Love me like you love yourself" is absolutely true.

    Thank you for the comment. :)

  3. Agreeing with Jesus, and that for someone who worships chocolate cake! You might actually love chocolate cake without loving yourself .... at least I think that's possible

  4. Time for a new blog I think. I miss them

  5. Happiness is always self-chosen. Don't let rejection get the best of you.

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